Here’s a list of major scheduled appearances at tonight’s 1000th Episode of RAW: The Rock. Triple H and Shawn Michaels appearing as D-Generation X for their 40th or 50th very special reunion. Vince McMahon himself, introducing a new permanent General Manager (I’m trying not to get my hopes too high up thinking it might be William Regal when it’s more likely to end up being Mick Foley.) Bret Hart. Brock Lesnar, presumably with Paul Heyman in tow and an answer to Triple H’s challenge for a Summerslam match.
That’s not even including the many stars that might make surprise returns. Everyone who’s ever spent a half-second on WWE TV has been asked if they’re coming back for tonight, and lots of them have already been seen chilling in St. Louis. That could be anyone from the Undertaker to Molly Holly to Agatha C. Hart-Diaz, a third cousin of Bret and Owen’s who I just made up who works as a tax accountant in Toronto, let’s say. We’re a spoiler-free zone so you can go ahead and track the Twitter rumors yourself. Actually it would be way cool to have Molly back around.
Daniel Bryan and AJ will be exchanging vows after a one-week engagement and a romance characterized by random skipping and occasional verbal abuse. As the Bible says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, but pushing people through tables is okay sometimes.”
But you say it’s wrestling you want on your pro wrestling show? Snob. But fine, if that’s the sort of thing you’re into, keep an eye out for a big main event WWE Championship match between champion CM Punk and John Cena, who’s cashing the match contract he won at Money in the Bank just over a week ago. Punk has enjoyed one of the longer title reigns of the last few years and is out to make Cena the first to lose a match cashed in by a MOTB winner. Plus: Intercontinental Champion Christian was picked over US Champ Santino Marella and Divas Champ Layla in an online poll to defend his title. No word on who the opponent is yet but I’ll bet a nickel it’ll end up being Tensai, who has nothing else to do, unless Prince Albert is the latest returning late-90s star to beat up Heath Slater.
If, somehow, you manage to tear yourself away from shouting at Cena into your Tout camera for a little while, catch us here at Fighters.com, where we’ll be liveblogging the show, and over at @FightersMMA on Twitter as per usual. Join us at 8 PM Eastern.
PHOTO CREDIT – WWE
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